Taxi light shines so bright, But I don't need no friends...As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset, I am in paradise...

Went to a work 'do' the other night, which was actually pretty cool. I've found since I started complaining that us experienced hires are left to fend for ourselves and aren't being assimilated into the Borg collective, they invite me to more and more swanky functions in a blatant attempt to buy my loyalty and my silence with free booze and canapes. Well it MIGHT work, I tell ya! We went to the Tate Britain museum (not the Tate Modern, which I went to first and yelled at a security guard who was giving me 'tude) and had a private viewing of the Turner Art Prize retrospective. It had all the winners of the Turner prize over the past 25 years including Gilbert and George (those mad scatalogical gay pervert dudes) and Damian Hurst's 'Mother and Child' which is a cow and a calf cut in half and preserved in tanks of, err, preservative. You can walk right in between the bodies and see all the internal organs. It's an immensely disturbing and powerful piece...like it or hate it, you can't help but be affected by it. Sadly, the rest of the stuff wasn't nearly as impressive. I grossed out one of my vegetarian collegues by suggesting they sell little miniature versions of the Hurst piece in the gift shop to put on your coffee table at home. So then it was down to the serious business of consuming lots of free booze and eating lots of delicious canapes. The waiting staff were very professional and worked out quite quickly to maintain a tight circle around me and never stray too far.

It was a cold and rainy night on Friday when I treked my way up North to Wembley to see Bill Bailey. But it was totally worth it! Bill was awesome, as per usual. Bouncing around like a comedic pinball between staggering intellectual soliloquay and bizarre surrealist rantings, punctuated by awesome musical interludes. The two highlighs of the show would have to be when he jammed with the Bollywood Bandits to "Duelling Sitars" ala Deliverance; and his encore of the "Mr Duck Lies Shredded on a Pancake, Drowning in the Hoi Sin of Your Lies" song from his previous show Part Troll. That's such an awesome song. I had really crap seats right up the back but there were huge screens behind the stage so you got to see everything. The man's a genius!

Our work Xmas party is on Friday night and I fly out to Kevie Land on the Sunday. I can't wait! I'm super pumped, it's gonna be wicked sweet, it's gonna be awesome! So this is probably the last you'll hear from me electronically. Next time you ingest my mighty words of wisdom I'll be standing right there...close enough to touch...do you wanna touch me? Yeah, you do. Go on...touch me...it's ok, it's ok to like it...

Peace out, ya'all!